Work-Life Balance

It is a plea uttered in desperation when your already crammed day derails with "just one more thing" and you're left scrambling to find someone to pick up your two year old before the day care center closes. Or it could be a call from that same center at eleven in the morning telling you that your child has a fever, please pick her up. In the meantime, you have an important meeting scheduled for 2:00 PM and you can't reach your spouse. If you happen to be in your forties or older, it just might be the dreaded elder care crisis that had always been something that happened to someone else but wasn't going to happen to your parents.

Unplanned situations like these are guaranteed to create enormous stress and make us long for something simpler and less complicated. But unfortunately, simpler and less complicated is not the order of the day. We live in a complex world that is dominated by long work weeks, dual wage-earner families and single parent households where time is in short supply. Consider the following statistics:

  • There are 11.9 million single parent households in the U.S. and 28% of all children under the age of eighteen live with one parent---U.S. Census Bureau
  • An estimated 60% of women with children younger than six are currently employed --- U.S. Bureau of Labor
  • As of 2003, more than 34 million Americans are sixty-five or older. By 2020, the number is projected to be 53 million --- U.S. Census Bureau

It is safe to say that life is going to be more complicated for most of us given those demographics, since we, as family members, still provide the vast majority of child and elder caregiving in the United States.

What is Work-Life Balance?

So how does one define "Balance" in today's complex world? It would seem that no one definition will work, primarily because everyone has a different threshold where they feel balanced and centered. Some people can find harmony in a sixty hour work week while others have difficulty with thirty hours. What makes the difference? Obviously, part of it is the available support. If the person working sixty hours has a supportive spouse and dependable child care then it certainly makes it easier. But since balance is really the sum of all the demands that are coming at us from external sources and our ability to control and manage those situations, it is also how well we are able to process, prioritize and delegate that can give us a measure of stability.

Perhaps the best way to understand balance is by knowing the signs of imbalance. Imbalance creates stress, and prolonged stress can produce:

  • Fatigue
  • Anger or resentment
  • A sense of sadness or depression
  • Family dissatisfaction
  • Dissatisfaction with work

These symptoms left unchecked can result in burnout or stress-related illnesses. Therefore, it is vitally important to step off the treadmill for a minute in order to take stock of your life and prioritize what is really essential to your needs and values. There is a tendency to continually take on every task because we don't want to let others down. There is also an image perpetuated in the media of perfection that doesn't match reality but nonetheless we try to live up to so that we don't feel inadequate. A great house with the perfect yard, high achieving children, and some volunteerism added in all take enormous energy and time. In and of themselves they are good things, but when combined with work may create stress overload. As an example, if you look critically at what is essential based on your needs and values you may discover that spending more time interacting with your family is of greater importance in your value system and that time spent on yard or housework can slip a little to accommodate that higher value.

It is also essential to recognize your own needs. Everyone needs some time for themselves for exercise, family fun and simple quiet time. If you never have time for yourself, you may become frustrated, fatigued and suffer burnout.

Practical Tips for Achieving Balance

Home:

Once you have taken the time to process the competing demands of work and family, you can then begin to prioritize them, sorting out between the essential and non-essential. This process is not a one-time event but rather an ongoing process since priorities change over time. For example, you may have to go out of town for several days on an unexpected business trip. This will certainly change how you can interact with your family and get work done at home and will require flexibility on your part. Perhaps you can make an agreement with yourself and your family that when you return you will do something special together as a reward them and yourself.

Another essential element is delegation. Even young children are capable of performing chores. Your six year old can take out the trash, help clear the table; an older child can fold and put away the wash. Your spouse can be your partner in the art of delegation, not only assisting with the chores but helping to oversee that they are getting done. Delegating will not only be a time saver for you (which may allow you the time to read a story to your child or go for a walk) but will teach your children responsibility and discipline.

Work:

At work, take time each day to prioritize tasks based on their immediacy and importance. If possible, enlist help for large projects. For important, high-priority projects start early when your energy level is at its peak. This will also allow you extra time in case of interruptions or competing demands. If the project is large, break it into component parts. This will give you a sense of accomplishment.

Some additional tips for saving time at work include:

  • Avoid procrastination. The more you delay, the less likely you will finish on time and the more likely another priority will come along that will increase your stress and feeling of not being in control.
  • Do not over-commit. Decide what you can realistically accomplish. If another assignment or project comes to you and takes priority, try to negotiate on the other items on your list.
  • Finish one project before starting another. Multi-tasking is a common buzz word today, but often by trying to do too many things at once, mistakes are made which cost more time in the long-run.
  • Get enough rest. Most people need seven to eight hours of sleep each night. Less sleep usually means decreased efficiency and more mistakes. With enough sleep you will be alert and efficient.
  • Tie up loose ends each day. Finish whatever you can and prepare for the next day. You will feel better organized and less overwhelmed.

Remember, achieving balance is about gaining control off your life instead of events controlling you. The input will never stop; it is how you manage it that's important to your sense of well-being and balance.

If you or a family member needs help dealing with work and family balance or related issues, give us a call at (888) 321-4433. PENN Behavioral Health is your Employee Assistance Program and can provide you with reassurance and practical assistance in a confidential and personal way. See our Employee Assistance Program section for more information.

Penn Behavioral Health is available to assist you seven days a week, 24 hours a day.